I sure hope I can find something better.........

to decorate my blogs with soon! I SO like to be decorated,and I just don't feel I've gotten close to that yet! But I will go on a hunt..........just as soon as I have time..............time? I know that everyone would think that's all I have.......time........it's come to mean such a different thing to me in the past few years....................I so often wonder HOW did I do anything when I was working? OK, maybe I didn't........or let's say I did very little other than work & party in my last few years before "becoming Meema" THAT fact alone changed me & my life SO much! So much more than other Meema's,I'm sure of that. I fell in LOVE with my role as Meema in one short second after SHE was born! She and I were born on April, 12 2001 at 12:41 pm on a Wednesday. But wait...........I'm not ready to think about that yet,so I'll go back a little bit.......when I found out that I was going to be a Meema, I was happy, I was even a little more happy to find out she was a girl. Although a part of me,still only wanted Little boys in my life since my only experience with little girls was my extremely spoiled little sister & her constant talking & temper tantrums.....oh I loved my friends little girls, but I still stood guarded against ever wishing for one. Because i was so sure I'd get one like my sister........I adored my boys & they were their Mom's boys & I liked that. Even with them grown & gone off to their own lives I still felt they were all mine. But I became happier & happier as the time neared & so thrilled to be invited to be at her birth! WOW! A Mom who came from the 70's of natural childbirth finally getting to be there to "enjoy" the birthing process! BUT the idea of GRANDMA appalled me......what? At MY age? No,no no.......OK, I remember all my customers calling their GRANDMA's Meema or Mamaw........that was cute......I think...OK it's going to be Meema.....OK NOW I was ready............until IT happened........I got the call from my SO excited son at work in the afternoon. He wanted me to leave right away,right NOW. Didn't he remember that a Bartender can't just walk out of work without a fill-in!? I said it would probably take some time & I would be there right after my shift that ended at 6:OO pm. And that I did. My then boyfriend, was so kind & so willing to accommodate me that we left right after I counted my money, went home & got changed & fed my Pug & made sure someone would check on her while I was in Miami, an almost 3 hour drive! Oh, I even turned down the MANY offers for a "drink for the road"......"oh you're going to NEED it".....right? That was an easy refusal, I never really "needed" a drink to be with my children. Oh there were many times I DID,but this wasn't one of them. SO off to Miami I went........soo thrilled. We arrived at the hospital as Security (yes they have strong security in Miami hospitals,as they should) was locking everyone that was in in & nobody else was going to get in til morning. This was 9:30 pm. Very Good time considering all I had to do. SO I made it & I was meant to be there for her birth........you know I still can't talk about it yet.....it's been almost 8 yrs. & I just can't. Some days I can & then there are others.......this is an "other" day. Maybe later................